Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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