It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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