I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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