Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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