Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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