Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
