are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
