is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
