Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...

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(226): View more from Ontario

my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.

(226): View more from Ontario

I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.

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