i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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