just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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