Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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