i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
