Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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