dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
