a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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