We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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