Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just high enough for therapy.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
When are your genitals available?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
