With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
