I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
