yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
