Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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