Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
