3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
