I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
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