His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
