my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
be right there i have to get my cape
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