just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
