I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
