Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
