O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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