Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
