so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's blow job season.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
