goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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