One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
