How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
