I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
