so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
And then he peed in my hair
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