He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
