Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
