It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
