is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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