the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
