drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
