No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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