we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
