You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
