Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
