so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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