Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
