FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
